no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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