Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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