SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
