Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
