You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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