We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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