i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
