I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
