he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
