Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
