It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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