going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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