It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
