Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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