dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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