The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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