so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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