I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ketchup is God's man juice
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
