no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
