All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
