it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
