The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and she was petting her beer can
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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