You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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