I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
