the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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