does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
