He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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