Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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