$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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