Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
