We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
