he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
