i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
