what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
