im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
