she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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