I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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