I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
