Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
