Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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