no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
