so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
