So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
