So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
