Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
