he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
