he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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