3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
