he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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