Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
