he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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